October 4 2017
I watch the wave crash into a boy. His legs flipping over the water and his body resurfacing. Smiling. Bracing his shoulders for another. Fighting undertow. The ocean. Curling to try again. I don’t know who the hero in this story is. I just want to wake up in high tide. Somewhere before the waves swell. Still ocean. Still body. We can go somewhere. Wherever current decides.
Some friends back in Ilsan decided to go daytime drinking at a convenience store we always drink at. Before the bars. After the bars. Or when we don’t want to go to the bars. I want to go. If I was in Ilsan I wouldn’t want to. When I’m in Ilsan, I want to go to Busan for 7 days. To get away from it all. Whatever that means.
Jagalchi fish market was closed because today is Chuseok. I am walking underneath lights advertising Nike and Adidas. I really wanted fresh fish. It reminds me of the last time I went fishing in a canoe floating along the Withlacoochee river. The sun set. My friend’s tent was broken. So we all slept along the river bank. Under the stars. It wasn’t that exotic. I didn’t get any sleep because the mosquitos wouldn’t let me. But I did see the Milky Way. Purple and pink streaks against the black. It was nice. I thought about it the first time I landed in South Korea. The night wasn’t the same as in South Georgia. Seoul says fuck the stars. We have no need for them.
Found an alley to smoke in. Talked with the friend who came on vacation with me outside a GS25. We came to the conclusion you need crazy tragedy to happen in the past. It’s good for you in some way. They’re the best stories. Some homeless man spoke no known language to us. He seemed angry. We left. He left.
The only English channel in my hotel room is telling me I’m watching Dark Knight Rises. Last night my friend hit some button that streamed whatever we played on the computer in our room. We stayed up until 4:00 am trying to decide what movie to watch. We gave up and just picked the first movie we saw when filtering for highest rated movie on a streaming website. I slept through Pirates of the Caribbean.
October 5 2017
Leaving a club. I hate clubs. I got pushed around a lot by people trying to get to the bar. Felt too awkward to get into the dance area. Felt too awkward to move anywhere So. I just smoked the whole time wishing I didn’t overthink everything.
Going to a different bar now. I want to keep drinking. It’s easy.
Finally decided to get out of bed. I woke up several times earlier. Maybe it was my alcohol breath. Maybe it was my hangover. Regardless. I kept going back to sleep.
A table of women thought I was staring at them at the restaurant. I was actually staring at two Japanese magazines that seemed to be only about cats. I felt awkward and looked away. My friends in America adopt way too many cats. They’re houses always smell like shit.
I came to the beach again to watch the waves and drink a beer. It’s high tide. I’m sitting further back than I was yesterday. The family next to me has decided to shoot fireworks. It’s good to pay attention. The delayed pops coming from the explosions usually catch me by surprise. I usually miss the view of it all. I’m usually stuck in my head. If i don’t look, i miss the flash. I’m only left with the noise.
Busan has no stars either. The army of hotels along the beach are the only lights. Everyone is now firing fireworks along the beach. Bursts of light over the ocean. I remarked that I haven’t been swimming all summer. My friend said we can go now. But it’s too cold. We’ll be fine in ten minutes. We ran into the ocean. Waves crashing on us. The current tries to pull me deeper. I always swim to shore.